that i am not my own

the date is set

well my good friends, it looks like i will actually be going on this adventure that i’ve been planning for quite some time. after carefully considering all of the many factors, i will be heading out on the 27th of december and returning the 18th of may! this allows me to spend christmas with the famjam, get a decently priced ticket there and back and spend about 5 months on the continent of Africa.

i cannot believe this is finally going to happen.

all i need to do now is defend my thesis, make the revisions and pack.

oy!

my heart cries...

*for all the kids suffering from progeria, a disease that causes bodies to age 7x faster than normal

*for all the children that have lost their parents

*for all those people that have no dreams

*for the lots boyz of the sudan and the pain they went through

*for those who don’t appreciate the magic of music

*for all those girls that don’t think they are thin or beautiful enough

*for those women that have been mistreated by men all over the world

*for everyone who feels they aren’t loved by anyone

*for those unborn children that have been victim to abortion

*for the people that are still affected today by the nuclear attack in Japan over 80 years ago

*for all those people that are slowing killing themselves by smoking….and don’t know it or don’t care

*for all the pets that have been abused and killed by careless owners

*for anyone who has been hurt by someone they loved

*for the millions of people all over the world starving because we can’t share our wealth

*for all those who have gone into debt because of their addiction for material wealth

*for the homeless that lay on the streets wishing they were in a warm bed with a full stomach

*for those who know nothing of other countries

*for those who wander this world with no worthy purpose

*for the wasted hours that people spend in front of the television

*for all of those who have been accused of crimes that they did not commit

*for all those souls that have become victim to the “justice” of the death penalty

*for those who have never witnessed a miracle

*for the women that cannot have a baby of their own

*for those who have not experienced the thrill of going on a roller coaster

*for the money spent on worthless things such as casinos

*for those that have not laughed until they have cried

*for those that have not recieved a real gift from the heart

*for those that cannot appreciate the beauty of this world and thanked God for his creativeness

*for the unendless amount of cancer patients

*for those who have suffered the loss of a dear friend

*for those who haven’t witnessed the pheonomenon of a child playing

*for all those who lost their lives to something that could have been settled around a table instead of in the trenches

*for the people that had to endure the pain of slavery

*for the people that sell their bodies to be able to buy some bread

*for the invention of guns and those who have been wounded and killed by them

*for those who don’t recieve hugs from anyone

*for all the childrent that are crying because their daddy isn’t home again

*for all the hurt that has been caused by affairs and lying

*for all those who are trying to find love in all the wrong places

*for everyone that has not heard the word of God and taken refuge in his salvation

*for all those who want to help but don’t know how

Rise up, Church of God, go make disciple of all nations. This is our call. We cannot make the suffering end, nor will this list ever cease to grow, but God can do the things that we cannot. The world needs Him in a big way. And it is our duty, our purpose, to make sure that the world finds Him. Maybe you don’t want to get on a loud speaker in a mall, or actually talk to your friends about him — so live your life by God’s laws. Love your neighbour. They will notice the difference. They will recognize us by our love and God will work His way in. All you have to do is trust in Him and do not back down.

Flood this place, Lord, flood this place. Give us freedom.

VISA!

I gots mine!

Woohoo!

testimonies and malaria pills.

so today was really cool!
i got to go up during the sermon at chach today and tell everyone how i got to where i am right now. the sermon was on jeremiah 29 so it was quite fitting.
it was fun and i don’t think i sounded too nervous, even though my heart was beating so fast. its weird, i would rather sing in front of a group of people than speak. public speaking is not my forte. but it went well and i am glad i could share my experiences.

and i also took my first malaria pill today. and i was kind of nervous because a bunch of people had told me (esp. right before i swallowed it) that they usually feel like crap after taking it. and these are the ones that are harder on your system and sometimes come with hallucinations and vivid dreams. but i feel pretty normal! so another reason why i am glad for my iron clad stomach.

two weeks until the big event! eek!

inclusion.

I don’t like being left out. I don’t like missing things.

I anticipate this will be one of the hardest things about leaving to go to Africa. I am definitely going to miss things going on back home. Friends are going to hang out, family will celebrate Christmas and New Years, and I will not be there.

I think the aspect that scares me the most though, is that while I am gone, people might move on with their lives (which is completely expected) and when I get back, things will be different. Relationships that I have with people might change or end and new relationships between people might start while I am away, and that could change the relationships that I have. And I don’t want things to change. Or really, I should say, I don’t want things to change for the worse or that might leave me out of the equation.

I don’t really know how to end this thought…because it is a legitimate fear that I have.
Is this another thing I should be trusting God with? The answer is a resounding yes.

But I still don’t want things to change.

i have been approved!

i just heard word that i have officially been approved as a Ministry Volunteer for the Christian Reformed World Missions in Nigeria!  so i guess this means that i can go! or something!

i also just heard that donations are coming in - so thank you so much for those! keep ‘em coming!

so things seem to be coming together for this trip. the fundraiser is panning out well and people seem excited for it. i think i am excited for it, but it it is soon approaching and there is lots left to do.

and my thesis. well, its there. and i am getting more hopeful, but again, i may not meet my deadline. this appears to be the theme in academic circles, so i suppose i should get used to it. but for those of you that know me well, i hate to be late. so i constantly remind myself of the big picture, and that it will get done. at some point. i hope.

you know what i realized the other day? i am very good at piling things on, and making my life a lot more difficult. like, last september, i not only had to write my MCATs, i also applied for med schools, and proposed my thesis all in a matter of a month. this time around, i am planning a trip to africa, fundraising and finishing my thesis. sometimes i think i thrive on challenges a bit too much. why make life easy eh?

with that said, i should get back to work.

ugh.

this is how i feel right now.

come to my fundraiser!

Please come! It seriously is going to be a great night - check out the band: www.isobellegunn.com OR http://www.myspace.com/isobellegunn to listen to their amazing music! And there will be art from local artists - which make great birthday and Christmas presents!

Hope to see you there!