I don’t like being left out. I don’t like missing things.

I anticipate this will be one of the hardest things about leaving to go to Africa. I am definitely going to miss things going on back home. Friends are going to hang out, family will celebrate Christmas and New Years, and I will not be there.

I think the aspect that scares me the most though, is that while I am gone, people might move on with their lives (which is completely expected) and when I get back, things will be different. Relationships that I have with people might change or end and new relationships between people might start while I am away, and that could change the relationships that I have. And I don’t want things to change. Or really, I should say, I don’t want things to change for the worse or that might leave me out of the equation.

I don’t really know how to end this thought…because it is a legitimate fear that I have.
Is this another thing I should be trusting God with? The answer is a resounding yes.

But I still don’t want things to change.